Nigerian comedian and actor, Bovi Ugboma, has shared his parenting philosophy, stressing the need for understanding and empathy rather than physical punishment.
During an appearance on The Honest Bunch podcast on Monday, Bovi opened up about his experiences as a father. He recounted incidents where his son, when angry, would throw objects, often leading to broken household items like their television.
“I don’t believe in beating children,” Bovi explained. “You need to let kids express themselves. My son would break TVs just for fun. Whenever he got upset, he’d throw things and smash them. But as he grew older, I noticed he started feeling remorse. Thankfully, I had the capacity to replace those TVs. If I couldn’t, maybe my reaction would have been different. That’s why I always ask people, when you hit your child, are you really correcting them, or are you just frustrated?”
He revealed that by 2021, when he posted about the situation on social media, his son had already broken three TVs.
Bovi on Bullying in Schools
The comedian also spoke out against bullying in schools, particularly the practice of giving older students authority over younger ones. He argued that such systems create environments of abuse and foster unhealthy hierarchies.
“No child should have authority over another child under the guise of being a senior student,” he stated.
Bovi criticized the idea of teenagers punishing their peers, noting that it leads to a toxic culture of fear and abuse.
“In our educational system, a 16-year-old is often in SS3. What does a 16-year-old know about authority? It’s wrong to place that kind of responsibility on them. This system of hierarchy and abuse must end.
Would any parent be okay with a 16-year-old flogging their child for misbehaving just because they’re the senior? Forcing respect through punishment is not the answer.”
Bovi argued that the culture of enforcing respect through fear begins in secondary school. He explained how colonial systems left behind by Western powers have perpetuated this unhealthy dynamic.
“The colonialists left us with a system that allows us to oppress ourselves,” he said. “This is why you often hear people say, ‘Do you know who I am?’ It’s a mentality that starts in school, where students are subjected to glorified torture under the pretense of discipline.”
He described how this mindset damages relationships and creates unnecessary divisions among people.
Parenting Styles: One Size Doesn’t Fit All
Bovi also emphasized the need for tailored parenting approaches, noting that each child is unique and requires individual attention.
“You can’t raise all your children using the same methods,” he said. “That’s why you’ll see one child saying, ‘I love my dad,’ while another says, ‘I hate my dad.’ It happens because the parent applied the same template to all the kids, without considering their differences.”
The comedian stressed that understanding a child’s personality and emotions is key to effective parenting.
In his candid discussion, Bovi urged parents and educators to rethink traditional disciplinary methods. He called for a focus on communication, empathy, and creating environments where children can express themselves without fear.
His insights highlight the importance of breaking away from outdated practices and fostering a culture of respect, understanding, and mutual growth in families and schools.
